Alone.

Alone it stay
Originally uploaded by Giampaolo Macorig

I think I'm settling more into the alone thing. This weekend I didn't stay in bed as long as possible, just wishing Jon was around, my head full of nonsense and lame. Yesterday, Seth and I were out almost all day.

It's strange how hard it is to separate oneself from the emotional roller coaster, even when I know what's going on. I know it's always happened and probably always will, but I still think and write things like the first paragraph. I'm not settling in. I'm feeling ok for a moment. Everything will be hectic again before long, and I'll feel so lonely, and I'll wish I had connection, and I'll stay in bed unless someone makes me get out.

But maybe, just maybe, I'm settling in. :)

UNDO UNDO UNDO

Got up (against my will) just before 8am today. Seth doesn't understand Sundays yet. Sundays are for sleeping late. Not doing anything until you start to feel like a bum. Not around here.

He started his ADHD medicine today. We'll see how this goes. I hope it makes things easier for him, but I really don't want anything major to change with him. I like him the way he is. I can even deal with the lack of attention and forgetting and misplacing things. It's his teachers that can't.

Almost done with my collage. I keep having to stop to let things dry. I'm sooo not used to that. Last night I stenciled some hair and spray painted it in black. Bad idea. Spray paint sticks to Mod Podge better than to paper. It was all shiny and weird where I had sealed the paper. I was actually considering how lame it is that real life doesn't have an apple+z command. I had to fix it, which was about an hour detour. Looks ok now, but it's not as "cute" as I'd liked it. She barely looks Harajuku. Next up is still life abstract. That's due Thursday. Yay.

Bones/Poppies/Squash/ Freezing Nightmares

101906
Originally uploaded by tabiii

Somehow, I have no less than a B in every class. I've been having some serious motivation issues, and I skipped a lot of English and Psychology. Guess it's the exams and papers that matter in the end.

This weekend I have two art projects (one to finish, one to start), a rough draft for a literature paper, and a psych project. Yay, it's going to be fun. Also, have to go from 38 drawings in my sketchbook to 60 without looking like I was just trying to go from 38 to 60.

I got very little sleep last night. I had a really bad, realistic nightmare and then I was freezing cold. By the time the alarm went off, I'd been waiting for it for about two hours.

Now, I'm drinking hot chocolate in my pajamas, not really looking forward to going to work. Not so much not looking forward to it either, though. This morning is my weekend.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm better at visual expression or expression through words. Or, if I should really express these things at all.

Thinking about making a review blog for watching video games being played.